I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
