Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
