my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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