Pappa wants mamma naked
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
