You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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