Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
