I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
