youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize