just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Randomize
