Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize