She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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