Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize