Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
and eventually we just all took our pants off
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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