It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She's the barista slut.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
