he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
