It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This baby is an asshole
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
