the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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