Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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