Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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