Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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