can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
