I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
