Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
