sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
