u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
