If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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