I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
