We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
