i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
