you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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