He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
