You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
