STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
