Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
