So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
