Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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