ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
