So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
