I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
