Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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