I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
