Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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