that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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