you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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