Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
