final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize