I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
