About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
