Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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