another moral hangover. fuck.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
