I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
