The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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