do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
