someone get that fucking seahorse.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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