I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
His nipple licking is glorious
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
