My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
