I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
