i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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