he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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