Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
