that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
