Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
