I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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