just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i dont even know how to be here
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
