i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
only you would photoshop your dick
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
